Once I read a quote on instagram that said:
“The ones who over think, are also the ones who over love.”
Since then, I’ve been (over)thinking about it.
Over the years I’ve realized and experienced that no matter how much you don’t want to or no matter how much you resist your brain makes you over think.
Somehow you also just cannot stop thinking as thinking comes natural to humans and that’s what makes us special.
Thinking v/s Over thinking
Thinking if you ask me is of great use. Some of the greatest ideas on human history came out of thinking! You sort of figure out things in your head, you know what is to be done you think what next is to be done, all the good memories from the past which make you happy, all this is thinking.
Just like every coin has two sides, the second and dark side of thinking comes with “over” attached with it.
The darker side of thinking is called “over thinking”!
“Too much of anything is good for nothing.” We all know this. So is the case with thinking too. This may even be contagious if not taken care at the right time.
Was I always perfect?
Just in case you’re wondering that I am writing it without any experience, let me tell you, I AM NO EXCEPTION! But I feel that the only difference is that I’ve started handling it pretty good now. It took a bit of time but every second was worth it.
What had happened to me that I realized was wrong?
NOTHING. Yup! You read that right. Nothing had actually happened. I just made something up in my head, and over thought about something that never actually had happened and fought over it with my best friend!
All the misunderstandings, over thinking, wrong interpretations combined together were such a NIGHTMARE!
I still am horrified as well as amused at what had happened (amused because we’re cool now after I apologized for 1000 times!). That was when I knew that this is taking me nowhere and this needs to stop ASAP!
WHY you should NOT be over thinking:
Now before I tell you how you’re going to control your thinking, I must also tell you why you shouldn’t be over thinking.
Now when you searched for “HOW TO STOP OVER THINKING” you already knew something was wrong. But what? Check if it is the following:
1. It makes you emotionally weak
Now, what over thinking does to you is, it creates scenarios in your head and makes you wonder things that might or might not happen.
Makes you wonder ‘what if’ this ‘or’ that happens. It binds you. It takes away your present.
2. Makes you question your self-worth
Sometimes it gives us doubt about our own precious selves. Over thinking makes you doubt yourself and makes you question if you are good enough for it or worth it or if you are the root cause for every muddle happening around. Now I want to add 2 things here.
a) You’ll not have to think if you deserve something or not. You’ll just know. Like, if I want a professional piano I know I don’t deserve it until I can buy one for myself and not depend on anyone for it.
b) YOU DESERVE THE BEST! Trust the process of becoming.
3. It effects your personality
The previous points and this one are very much interlinked. The way you think of yourself or of anyone else just shows up. If you’re feeling good, you smile, talk, proliferate good vibes. Your posture changes, your walk changes, your walk changes and basically your whole aura changes. But when you over think, doubt yourself, feel low and question yourself; that reflects too. Your mood says it all!
4. Sleep- ALL gone
Well, the time when most of the people over think is when they go to their beds. That actually should be the time when one’s whole self should be put together to relax and breath and express gratitude but over thinking at that time isn’t such a good idea.
Just a random event from 6 years back is enough to keep you up the whole night and of not that, what different answer you could’ve given in an argument in 2016 might help just as well.
I know all this can go a long way. But as I said, I’ve been through all this and handle it pretty well, here’s what I meant:
You can also try all these.
1. Acknowledge what you feel
Sometimes, you feel absurd for something or some event that took place lately which in some way, might be related to you and you’re not sure how to react on it or how to feel. This bothers a lot of people in a lot of ways. You’re not sure how to react or what to say but you’re sure enough to get it out of you. Here’s what you can do:
• Stand in front of a mirror
Whom you’re going to see in the mirror is your true self. Acknowledge how you’re feeling or what you’re sensing. Ask yourself if this is how you want to feel? If not, how you’ll deal with it or what you’re currently doing to improve the situation.
And yes, once a day, just smile at yourself.
2. Write down.
I can’t stress more on it. Keep a personal journal. Write everything that you feel. Just be true to it. This is going to be a great help. You’ll know what’s happening in your mind, how exactly are you feeling. I can’t stress enough on this but it really helps me and it will really-really help you too!
I promise. You never know this might someday also publish as a book and be the best seller(thank me later XD)!
If you got a best friend, talk to them. If not, your journal is one. Write everything you feel. Talk to it. THIS REALLY HELPS.
3. Forgive yourself
If there’s something that has been bothering you or keeping you awake or you’ve done something bad to someone that made the other person feel bad, just remember, your choice might be wrong but life has greater plans. Forgive yourself and move on. Life goes on.
Everything happens for a reason and probably for a good one. So buck up and embrace what you got. Better things are coming.
4. Let it out
Okay so what I say might sound obnoxious but is again, a great help.
CRY. Yes. Let it come out.
I don’t know who said crying makes a person weak. As far as I remember science just said men are better at handling emotions but it didn’t say they can’t cry and if they did, they’re weak. So, it doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl. Cry. As much you want. Crying makes you feel really-really good. It takes out all the negativity you’ve been holding. It makes you feel so much lighter and delighted. I swear. Count on me and give it a shot.
The fact that you’re dealing with anger issues along with over thinking worsens the very idea of managing it.
5. Play on some calm music and Meditate
Now this is the master stroke. All you have to do is to go to a quiet place, sit down peacefully, play some calm music on, close your eyes and start meditating while breathing peacefully. This again, works wonder and assembles your mind into one single place.
Do let me know if you find these helpful and if the points were relatable in the comment section. Also, tell me how you’re doing and what you do in times like these. Stay home, stay safe!